Key events
Sean Dyche says it’s been a difficult season, some self-inflicted some not, and everyone involved with the club deserves praise, him included. Yes, he really did say that; of course he did. Everton are in a good place now, he reckons, and their job today is to play well.
Of course there’s also this that might be more relevant: an Arsenal side who, with the league gone, turned on the ridiculous style at the end of 02-03.
Back to Tony Adams, he, of course, scored an alright goal playing at home to Everton in 1998. I can’t lie, I was on my gap yah at the time and I may or may not have missed it, scarpering from the pub at half-time to avoid grief off my mates, and looking back, there’s something moving about the look of pure peacefulness on Adams’ face as he celebrated. He must’ve feared he’d never again experience a moment like that; he must’ve feared he might never again experience a moment; so who can begrudge it him?
On the way to the bus stop, I called my dad, who advised me – OK, consoled me – with the news that Manchester City had been relegated. Not sure those are words anyone will be typing anytime soon.
But he’s not the only former England centre-back and lifestyle guru making a statement…
A tremendous rig from TA, perhaps missing three Adidas stripes down the arms and a JVC in the middle.
On which point, two players in Everton’s spine are very highly rated, Jarron Branthwaite and Amadou Onana, so how do we see them? I like Branthwaite, but wonder if he’s got elite-level potential, but have never seen Onana play well enough for me see him as close to that level – and being left out of a struggling side, as he has been this season, also makes me wonder.
Everton are unchanged following last weekend’s narrow win over Sheffield United, and there’s a fairly solid look about this XI. I expect Arsenal to win, but I also expect they’ll have to work for it.
There are those who think he’s at Arsenal to avoid presenting the trophy to City given the 115 outstanding charges; he explains that that’s just what they decided, which totally quashes all speculation and gets those wondering what on earth is going on conclusively telt. Amazingly Predictably, he’s asked no further questions on the topic.
He thinks it’s been a good season, doesn’t want to bin VAR – why would he I guess, seems unlikely he’s ever had an epochal goon for the sake of a subjective call made destroyed by a bloke in a truck at Stockley Park – but think sit has to improve. Naturally, he offers no detail whatsoever on this point.
Saka’s spot goes to Gabriel Martinelli, who Martin Keown says was dynamite in training when he went to watch on Wednesday but excuse my while I interrupt myself: Richard Masters, Premier league head syoot, is being interveiwed.
No I won’t; Arteta, clad in seasonal all black, is being interviewed by BT. Artetz explains that Saka has always been available – something his manager made a mission – and was gutted to pick up a a slight muscle injury in training. Otherwise, the Arsenal gaffer says it should be a special day, that City and Liverpool have set the standards, his men know the task is big and they need to be “almost perfect” – they’ve tried and will see if it’s enough.
Arteta wants help from the home crowd, congratulates Everton for what they’ve done in a difficult season, and that’s wa lot.
I’ll write these down, then we’ll wonder what they mean.
Teams!
Arsenal (4-3-3): Raya; White, Saliba, Gabriel, Tomiyasu; Partey, Ødegaard, Rice; Trossard, Havertz, Martinelli. Subs: Ramsdale, Zinchenko, Timber, Kiwior, Jorginho, Vieira, Smith Rowe, Jesus, Nketiah.
Everton (4-2-3-1): Pickford; Coleman, Tarkowski, Branthwaite, Young; Gueye, Onana; Garner, Doucouré, McNeil; Calvert-Lewin. Subs: Virginia, Crellin, Keane, Beto, Godfrey, Chermiti, Warrington, Hunt, Dobbin.
Referee: Michael Oliver (Ashington)
Preamble
Perhaps the greatest thing about football – and, much as we enjoy poking fun at it, its shortlist is damn long – is that, unlike the majority of days in our lives, stuff happens. Stuff of which we could never have previously conceived, that sticks with us forevermore and facilitates the second-greatest thing about football: the ability to behave in a manner deemed unacceptable in any other environment, alongside an incomparable meld of people we love and complete strangers. There is nothing remotely like it.
So, while it seems unlikely that Arsenal end the day as league champions for the first time in two decades – and who would’ve predicted that in May 2004? – as the saying goes, man plans and football laughs.
We could, of course, respond by saying well, only once has the side starting the final day top of the table failed to end it dancing about with a silver pot. But equally, we could reference – for example – 1964-65, 1971-72, 1994-95, 1998-99, 2011-12 and 2021-22, all of which featured denouement shenaniga of intense proportions. Which is to say things may side with life and conclude in a quiet, disappointing manner … or football may simply take over.
Either way, it’s been another strong season for Mikel Arteta’s men, the defensive frailty which cost them at key moments last term all but eradicated this. Even if today goes against them, they’re closer to the summit than before, and the next step on their climb is obvious: the addition or development of world-class attackers able to redeem poor performances or rich profligacy with match-winning contributions.
Given the above, it’d be easy to forget that we’ve two teams playing at the Emirates today, but the visitors also deserve plenty of praise for how they’ve shaken out. An eight-point deduction might easily have led to their relegation and, though they’ve been helped by promoted clubs always likely to return whence they came, no side will relish returning to face Sean Dyche, having rolled over for the whole world to see. Though, football being football, you never quite know. Bring it on!
Kick-off: 4pm BST
