Sarah Millican: Bobby Dazzler
9.30pm, Channel 4
The wonderful, shrill-voiced but foul-mouthed Sarah Millican performs her latest standup show. It is a hilarious hour, with the comic covering everything from vagina-scented candles to “that Covid shite”, losing weight (“Every time she said ‘chin to chest’ I was already doing it,” she says of her skinny yoga instructor) and – something nobody else could make funny – getting a smear test. Hollie Richardson
Would I Lie to You?
8pm, BBC One
The perjurious panel show adjudicated by Rob Brydon continues, with David Mitchell fielding a Caledonian dream team of Frankie Boyle and Abby Cook. Can their tales of weird childhood pets and belatedly discovering pickled-onion flavour Monster Munch successfully bamboozle Lee Mack and his cohorts (Lucy Beaumont and Mo Gilligan)? Graeme Virtue
Cruising with Susan Calman
8pm, Channel 5
This blows extremely hard – the Mexican marine geyser that shoots water up to 100 metres skywards in tonight’s episode, that is. We’re not talking about this flimsy tourist show, which follows a comic boating from Mexico to the US, and is a pleasant enough travelogue. Alexi Duggins
Amanda & Alan’s Italian Job
8.30pm, BBC One
Miracles are already happening in 2024, with Amanda Holden and Alan Carr’s summer renovation show getting another series. This time, Carr has bought a very old gaff with a watchtower in northern Tuscany – which looks moments away from collapsing. He regrets buying it as soon as they step inside, but it is time to roll their sleeves up and get to work. HR
The Traitors: Uncloaked
10pm, BBC Two
The Traitors gets its very own debrief show – proof that it is here to stay. Ed Gamble is our faithful host, and he will be inviting celebrity guests to break down the most addictive reality series on telly, starting with the launch show and the first murder committed. HR
The Graham Norton Show
10.40pm, BBC One
After the very slightly heightened atmosphere of the New Year’s Eve Norton, it’s the first Friday night of 2024, so we are back to regular Norton, a show that these days has almost no competition when it comes to booking A-listers with a project to promote. Plus, a punter might be twanged out of the Big Red Chair. Jack Seale
Film choice
Fast X (Louis Leterrier, 2023) 12.25pm and 8pm, Sky Cinema Premiere
Burning rubber as if it is going out of fashion, the Toretto clan – “like a cult with cars”, according to one of their enemies – are back for a 10th instalment of exhilarating action. A man for whom whiplash is a myth, thief turned freelance secret operative Dom (Vin Diesel) sees his automobile association come under threat from a new villain, the vengeful, one-step-ahead Dante (a gleefully flamboyant Jason Momoa). The first in a two-part story discovers new ways to make cars fly, touching down in Rome, Rio and London as Dom finds a berth for yet another new pal (Brie Larson’s rogue agent Tess) and reunites with a bewildering family tree of friends and foes. Simon Wardell
Foe (Garth David, 2023) Prime Video
In a near-future of climate disaster, young couple Hen (Saoirse Ronan) and Junior (Paul Mescal) are visited at their farm by Aaron Pierre’s official, Terrance. Junior has been selected to work on a space station, so Hen will be given a “human substitute” – an organic AI copy of him. Terrance comes to stay to get the data needed, anatomising their marriage and making Hen question her life. There are big twists, Black Mirror-style, in the intimate drama, but the ever-convincing Ronan and Mescal deliver bruising performances. SW
Live sport
Premiership Rugby Union: Sale Sharks v Bristol Bears, 7.30pm, TNT Sports From Salford.
FA Cup Football: Tottenham v Burnley, 7.30pm, ITV1 The third round gets under way.
