Key events
Maguire goes off
39 min Maguire comes back on, at right-back, but it’s clearly hopeless. He gets a warm hand from the crowd, and that’s a real shame. He’s been United’s best player for the past month, and they’ve got to go to Anfield on Sunday.
Maguire injured?
35 min Garnacho, who has been United’s weakest link, nutmegs Mazraoui, who promptly recovers and starts another Bayern attack. Someone gets a shot in, easily held by Onana. But then Maguire, tidying up near the halfway line, seems to pick up a groin strain. As he gets some attention from the physio, Jonny Evans trots out to warm up.
34 min United want a free kick in the D as Upamecano and Fernandes go up for a high ball lofted forward by Maguire. There was an elbow, but the young Norwegian ref sees no harm in it.
32 min Chance for Sane! Flying into the six-yard box for a volley, but just getting ahead of the ball. United had wasted their corner and allowed Kane to start a counter.
30 min Fernandes takes it and wins a corner with a deflection off the wall.
28 min United piece together a decent move, starting with some neat footwork from Dalot, and ending with a free kick won by McTominay.
“Talking of red-tinted spectacles,” says Richard Hirst, “I wonder whether there are any United fans who are still unAbel to understand why Kane isn’t playing for them.” Ha.
28 min The other game is 0-0 too, so as things stand, United need one goal to go through. Though that presupposes that they would be able to defend it.
26 min Chance for Bayern! Leroy Sane, supplied by Masala, slaloms through the middle and surely has to score – but the mighty Maguire times his lunge just right.
24 min A shot from Shaw! United broke down the right and Fernandes played Shaw in with a square ball. His effort is on target, drawing a save from Neuer and a corner. The ball ends up going for a goal kick and there’s some argy-bargy involving Garnacho and Mazraoui, who fell heavily into a hoarding. A few other players pile in, but it’s all polite enough.
20 min United’s turn to have a bit of tame possession. Fernandes drops deep to try and start something,.United have a good half-minute and then Bayern come again as Davies builds from left-back. The eventual cross from the right is headed away, comfortably enough.
19 min United get forward with Antony and McTominay combining well on the right to feed Fernandes, who tries to slip a slide-roll pass through to Hojlund. It doesn’t quite come off.
17 min As we hear that Bayern have had 125 passes to United’s 57, they’re in the box again and there’s a VAR check for a possible foul by Maguire. Check over, with only Tuchel bothered about it.
15 min Centre-back latest: Maguire and Varane have now swapped sides. Up the other end, Hojlund tries to muscle Upamecano off the ball but succeeds only in falling over himself.
14 min Davies, at left-back, plays a gorgeous perpendicular ball that takes out three opponents. Bayern make it into the box, where Rapha Varane gets a strong header in, then another. It’s his 92nd game in the Champions League but his first start for a while.
11 min Bayern keep the ball for a while, something they do far better than United. Kane’s elegant through ball finds Mazraoui on the overlap down the right, but his cross is overcooked.
10 min Shot from Kane! He had time, near the D, but took the ball first time and didn’t middle it for once, so Onana made an easy save.
9 min As Paul Scholes feared, United are looking very open in defensive midfield. Bayern waltz across their 18-yard line, not for the last time tonight, but nothing comes of it.
7 min Maguire shakes off some close attention from Leroy Sane. He’s on the left of the centre-backs, where Erik ten Hag doesn’t usually fancy him (and Gareth Southgate does). At Anfield on Sunday, when Fernandes is suspended, Maguire may even reclaim the captaincy.
4 min Fernandes’s corner is overhit and they go all the way back to Onana, but then they go all the way upfield again and Antony gets a shot in – over the bar.
4 min United reach the byline! That was all about Diogo Dalot, who made a good sharp run and wins a corner.
2 min United get far enough forward to do some pressing, but Bayern, switching to route two, have no trouble playing through them. The ball reaches Harry Maguire, who passes it straight out of play.
1 min Bayern kick off, straight back to Neuer. Route one and in no time Harry Kane is crossing from the right, but he was offside.
The anthem rings out and the players exchange hand-slaps. United are in their classic red with white shorts and white socks, Bayern in all-black. The crowd are making a lot of noise.
“Pepto-Abysmal” is the subject line of the next email. Is that you, Peter Oh? It is.
“With United still queasy from overindulging on humble Cherries pie,” he says, “and Bayern trying hard not to regurgitate the Frankfurters that were stuffed down their throats over the weekend, today’s match is bound to exacerbate heartburn and indigestion.”
Junior choice
United have two young forwards in their starting XI – Rasmus Hojlund, who is 20, and Alejandro Garnacho, who’s still only 19. And the bench is even less experienced.
The midfielders are Kobbie Mainoo (18), Dan Gore (19) and Hannibal Mejbri (20). The forwards are Joe Hugill (20, scored for the first team in pre-season but hasn’t played since) and Facundo Pellistri, who, at 21, is the daddy of them all. Jonny Evans, also on the bench tonight, is more of a grandad.
It wouldn’t happen now
“A passing story of some interest (l hope),” says Eric Anderson. “When I was a schoolboy in the early Sixties in Manchester, the first team used to train every weekday in the ground at Old Trafford. If you were in your uniform, you could go in to watch the first team go through their routines.
“About 5-ish all the lads would go into a very large room under the stadium and all the players, once they had changed, came in to sign autographs etc. Pork pies and cups of tea would be on hand and the talk was, of course. footy.
“What school do you go, lad? Are you in the school team? What position do you play? Scored any goals last week?” And so on. Then it was a mad dash outside to the players’ entrance – more autographs and a chance to ogle the boys driving away.
“I had a fantastic friend, Tommy Davis, and we never missed a session, cutting school every afternoon. One time (1964 I remember), we were waiting outside and a brand new pillar-box red Mk 2 Jaguar was parked up next to the exit. I remember looking at the badge on the bonnet.”
“Some lad shouts out ’THAT’S DENIS LAW’S NEW JAG!’ and just at that moment out steps Law, followed by George Best and Bobby Charlton.
“‘Hey Denis, give us a spin in your new car,’ says Tommy, with a cheeky grin.
“‘Come on then,”’ says Denis, ‘jump in the front, and you lad, get in the back.” That was me.
“Leaving Charlton and Best signing autograph books, Denis Law does a wheel spin, revs up, goes up the hill a hundred yards, another wheel spin and we are back.
“‘Now sod off you two,’ he drawls.
“Best and Charlton jump in, Denis does another spin and shoots off out of the Old Trafford car park into the mist of Manchester. Now that’s a memory worth clinging on to!”
Scholes worried about the midfield
It looks as if Sofyan Amrabat, who’s had a patchy time at United so far, is the sole defensive midfielder. Scott McTominay has been playing as a second striker lately, and Bruno Fernandes tends to roam far and wide – though he may be asked to sit deeper tonight.
Paul Scholes has been wondering why Kobbie Mainoo hasn’t been brought in to provide more defensive stability. He remembers that when United were first in the Champions League, they used to be very open. “And we realised that in Europe you just have to be more disciplined.”
Teams in full
Manchester United (probable 4-1-4-1) Onana; Dalot, Maguire, Varane, Shaw; Amrabat; Antony, McTominay, Fernandes (capt), Garnacho; Hojlund.
Subs Bayindir, Heaton, Wan-Bissaka, Evans, Reguilon, Mainoo, Hannibal, Pellistri, Hugill.
Bayern Munich (probable 4-2-3-1) Neuer (capt); Mazraoui, Upamecano, Kim Min-Jae, Davies; Kimmich, Goretzka; Coman, Musiala, Sane; Kane.
Subs Peretz, Laimer, Guerreiro, Krätzig, Pavlovic, Muller, Choupo-Moting, Tel.
Teams in brief: Choupo-Moting out, Musiala in
Thomas Tuchel makes only one change from the team that had a nightmare before Christmas in Frankfurt. Eric Choupo-Moting is the fall guy and in comes Jamal Musiala – who ran rings round United when they last met.
Teams in brief: Varane recalled, Rashford unwell
Raphael Varane, who has four Champions League medals, is back in favour at last. He joins Harry Maguire in a bid to keep Harry Kane quiet, allowing Luke Shaw to return to his natural habitat at left-back. Marcus Rashford is still unwell, which means that the young striker Joe Hugill gets a place on the bench and maybe a chance to do to Bayern what Rashford once did to Midtjylland.
Preamble
Evening everyone and welcome to what looks like the big one tonight – at least until Manchester United fall apart. Or Bayern do.
Both of these grand old clubs came a cropper at the weekend, as United were embarrassed by Bournemouth (0-3, at home) and Bayern were even more embarrassed by Eintracht Frankfurt (1-5, away). The only slight difference is that the men in red shirts have red faces about once a fortnight. Oh, and Bayern have already made sure of topping the group, while United are bottom and clutching at a pair of straws.
To sneak through, they have to win tonight and hope that Galatasaray draw at Copenhagen, leaving both those teams on six points while United leap to seven. To reach the play-offs for the Europa League, which is more their level these days, United need either (a) to win tonight with the other game not ending all-square, or (b) to draw for only the second time this season and hope that Copenhagen lose at home, so they can squeeze into third place on away goals and prove that losing 4-3 is not such a bad idea after all. Can the hope still kill you even when it’s very faint? Asking for a friend.
United’s last three performances have been a shocker, a cracker and an even worse shocker. So God only knows what will happen here. They could go down to their heaviest defeat ever in the Champions League (surpassing the 4-0 at Camp Nou in 1994-95). Or they could dig deep and do something memorable. Opta gives them a 36pc chance of a win, to Bayern’s 39, which makes you wonder if algorithms can wear red-tinted glasses. Last time the teams met, back in September, United were narrowly battered.
Kick-off is at 8pm GMT and I’ll be back soon after 7 to see what sort of team Ten Hag has selected. He can keep it simple with his instructions: play like Bournemouth.
