Monday
You would have thought the sight of wildfires in many parts of southern Europe would have given Rishi Sunak pause for thought. Instead it has inspired his pyromaniac tendencies. Following the byelection in Uxbridge last week in which Labour lost principally because of Sadiq Khan’s ultra-low emission zone policy, Sunak has declared a binfire of the Tories’ green agenda. He had never really believed in it – despite most of the country supporting climate crisis measures – and had now declared it to be just a woke indulgence. Another arm of the culture wars. So all weekend No 10 has been briefing that the government has had second thoughts about its environmental agenda and today, on a visit to Birmingham, the prime minister said the government was committed to doing the bare minimum. Or to keep its response to climate breakdown “proportionate and pragmatic”. Make that disproportionate and unpragmatic. If Sunak was really engaged with the issues he would be doing more not less. Instead, he merely shrugs his shoulders, observes that the weather is vaguely tolerable in the UK, and lets those countries most affected do the heavy lifting. Sunak no longer even seems indifferent to 2030 and 2050 targets. They were just dates picked at random to him. It doesn’t matter if we delay things by a few years. What happens in the rest of the world isn’t the UK’s problem. If large parts of the world are flooded, Rishi will just go on holiday elsewhere. He doesn’t even care that doing too little is a waste of money as the planet will be trashed if insufficient action is taken. Still, must stick to his priorities. Getting the Tories re-elected in 2024 is far more important than making sure the world survives for future generations.
Tuesday
Last week my wife was taking our dog for a walk round Tooting Common when she noticed he was limping. On her return we examined Herbie but couldn’t spot anything wrong – no grass seed in a paw – and he didn’t appear to be in any pain. But to be on the safe side, I took him to the vet. He initially appeared to be just as confused until he examined Herbie’s knee. Whereupon he pronounced that Herbie had torn his cruciate ligament – how often does a13-year-old dog get an elite athlete’s injury? – and would need an operation. Would it be expensive? It would. About £3,500. Needless to say we don’t have any pet insurance. But no matter. What Herbie needs, Herbie gets. He is by far the most loved member of the family. If I needed another knee operation, my wife would happily put me on an 18-month waiting list. Or however long Sunak and Steve Barclay have now decided is an acceptable delay. My wife is also far more worried about Herbie’s wellbeing than she ever was about me when I had a total knee replacement about 12 years ago. Still, I know my place. We’d be a dead cert to win the dog that looks most like its owner at the Tooting dog show this year. Jill is especially worried about how Herbie will cope with six weeks enforced crate rest post op. He hates being cooped up. I guess he will just have to get used to it. While he waits for his op Herbie has proved remarkably adaptable. He now gets around quite easily on three legs, would chase balls if allowed, and can even climb on to the bed. Best of all he has even learned how to have a piss without falling over.
Wednesday
Earlier this year I read somewhere that people who could stand on one leg for more than 10 seconds had a much better life expectancy than those who toppled over immediately. Since then I’ve spent a lot of down time – especially when in a queue or brushing my teeth – improving my balance. Anything to claw back a few extra years. I live in hope that if I spend the rest of my life on one leg then I may never die. But then I’m a sucker for life hacks and have taken to heart research published this week by the US Department of Veterans Affairs that has identified eight lifestyle choices that could add more than 20 years to your life. Believe me, when you’re in your late 60s you fall on this kind of thing. I may even live to see Spurs win a Premiership title at this rate. Though I doubt it. More likely I will live to see yet more disappointment. The first rule is to eat well. I reckon I’m halfway there. I eat less red meat than I used to but I could always eat less. The second is to avoid cigarettes. Something I’ve done for 35 years. That must count for something. Get a good night’s sleep. Hmm. I sleep OK but I could do without the constant anxiety dreams. I wake up every morning in a terrible state. Be physically active. Job done. I do an hour on the cross trainer three or four times a week. Manage stress. That’s a major fail. I’m hopeless at it. Stress manages me. Avoid binge drinking. Tick. Haven’t touched alcohol for nearly 40 years. Be free from opioid addiction. Yup. And I’ve even had an opioid addiction in the past to be free from. So that must count double. Lastly, have positive social relationships. I’d give that a yes, too. I love my family and friends. We might also add in doing the plank, which someone else this week declared would make you live longer. I do it in the gym for two and a half minutes. Perhaps I should work on doing it on one leg.
Thursday
The weather forecast was spot on. It had promised rain for much of last Saturday and Sunday in Manchester and rain was what we got. So the fourth Test petered out into a tame draw and Australia got to retain the Ashes because they had won them last time. Fair play to the Aussies then. They might not be the most charismatic team but they got the job done. At key moments in the first two Tests they played the smarter cricket. England had their chances and didn’t take them. But it often feels as if those responsible for running cricket are their own worst enemy. I can’t think of any other sport that would willingly allow one of the most anticipated and exciting series in years to be decided by the weather. You can’t imagine – back in the day, when Centre Court didn’t have a roof – for Wimbledon to just shrug its shoulders if it rained on finals weekend. Oh never mind! No need to play the last matches we’ll just give the trophies to the players who won it last time. Or if Fifa had decided it was too hot to play the World Cup final in Qatar and had just decided Argentina and France could share the title. I mean, how hard would it have been for the International Cricket Council and the England and Wales Cricket Board to have just scheduled a reserve day in case of a washout? They managed to do that for the final of the Test championship between Australia and India earlier in the year. Far better to play every match to a natural conclusion. Who knows, the Australians Mitch Marsh and Cameron Green could have made heroes of themselves by batting all day at Old Trafford and preventing an England win. There again the cricket authorities have form for stupidity. I’ve lost count of the number of times play has ended at 6.30pm in full sunlight when there are still about 10 overs still to be bowled. Sooner or later, fans will get fed up being taken for mugs. On to the Oval today.
Friday
Nigel Farage gives every impression of living his best life. The establishment man through and through with his own show on GB News and friend of half the Conservative party and the UK press gets to indulge his anti-establishment fantasies. Someone who craves attention is front-page news for much of the last four weeks. And, even better, has for the first time in his life claimed the moral high ground. Who can now demand revenge by demanding the resignation of the NatWest and Coutts CEOs. Farage says he feels shame and embarrassment at being debanked, but gives precious little sign of it. He looks like he’s loving every minute. The trademark smirk has never been broader. Though a word to the Nige. If you don’t want to lose your bank account again, then maybe go to a high street bank rather than a posh private bank that can make up its own rules. Just a thought. And a word to Alison Rose, the former NatWest CEO: if you are going to brief the BBC’s business editor in future, you might want to check that the story you are giving him is accurate. But Farage is just doing what Farage has always done. More curious is the way that senior Tory politicians – from Rishi Sunak down – have joined in the clamour to get Rose and the Coutts boss fired. As the Labour MP Darren Jones has pointed out, NatWest is only 39% state owned. Royal Mail is 100% state owned and Sunak has never weighed in to criticise its directors for filing false accounts or not taking action over the Horizon computer systems. Nor has he called for heads as water bosses pump sewage into rives and streams. But for l’affaire Farage Sunak pulls out all the stops. The Brexit elite looking after one another. Jobs for the boys.
