Name: Sardinecore.
Age: Freshly spawned this summer.
Appearance: Fishy.
Sardinecore, you say. What fresh (fish) hell is this? Are you planning to make a lot of fish puns?
I am: it’s o-fish-ial. So what’s sardinecore? Well, tinned fish – often in beautiful, colourful packaging – has been hot for a while. It is served in bars at an eye-watering mark up and London’s Saltie Girl restaurant even has a “tin list” menu. Then a chef called Ali Hooke made #tinnedfishdatenight a TikTok phenomenon.
Tinned fish date night? Holy carp. There’s nothing erotic about a pilchard or a sprat. Sexy is in the eye of the beholder. Apparently, Hooke’s husband “Leaned over and told me he had always dreamed of sharing a moment like this with someone he loved”. Anyway, scales have also been having a design and fashion moment.
You mean a fishion moment. I do not. I mean LA brand Clare V produced “Liberez les sardines” T-shirts and caps, and luxury label Bottega Veneta has created a much-coveted “Sardine” bag.
Like Carrie’s daft pigeon clutch in And Just Like That …? No, this Sardine is sleekness personified. The sardine element is a “sculptural” fish-shaped gold handle.
It’s very beautiful, but how many tins of tuna can you fit in there? Four, I reckon.
Sold! It’s over £3,000.
Are you squidding? Unsold. But hang on, I thought this summer’s sea-themed trend was mermaidcore? That was back in early summer, a fashion lifetime ago. But, yes, all those gauzy, iridescent, diaphanous fabrics and fishtail shapes probably paved the way for sardinecore.
None of this is new, is it? You couldn’t move without falling over a lobster print a few years ago. Ever since Elsa Schiaparelli’s 1937 lobster dress, I’m not sure it ever really went away. “The sea – vast, unknowable, volatile, both life-giving and life-taking – provides a seductive setting for myths, tales and speculation about what lies beneath the surface,” as Vogue put it in 2021, when Versace produced starfish-inspired dresses and Riccardo Tisci of Burberry channelled a “love affair between a mermaid and a shark”. Since then, we’ve seen Lizzo in an octopus outfit and a winter trend called “jellyfishing” (wearing a puffy coat with a slim bottom half).
Is there any sea creature that can’t be sprinkled with fashion fairy dust (as well as salt and lemon)? I’ve yet to see a fashion-forward blobfish – the deep-sea creature that looks like gloomy mucous – but anyfin is possible. Argh!
Do say: “Are you ready for the hot gill summer?”
Don’t say: “The sea is so hot right now. (So hot the only place you’ll see fish soon is on T-shirts.)”
