June, 75, Helensburgh
Occupation Self-employed, a trained chef
Voting record Once voted SNP, but never again. Used to vote Conservative, but decided three years ago to desist from voting altogether
Amuse bouche Sings in an inclusive choir, which recently performed with a national ballet company
Shelby, 25, Glasgow
Occupation Project manager
Voting record Usually Labour in general elections and Green in local elections
Amuse bouche Is the first woman in her family to join the construction industry
For starters
June I hadn’t heard of the restaurant and was pleasantly surprised. The haddock and chips was delicious.
Shelby I had lemon sole, broccoli and chips. Best thing I’ve eaten in so long.
June Shelby is a lovely, lovely girl. She’s vibrant, enthusiastic and curious. She has a thirst for knowledge.
Shelby June is a big conspiracy theorist. She was so lovely, but I came out going, “What was that conversation?”
The big beef
June I believe Covid was the biggest hoax our civilisation has seen in a long long time. I obviously don’t know what caused it, but I suspect it may be a bioweapon released on humanity, perhaps from chemtrails, water supply, food, whatever. I can’t prove any of this, but I just join the dots and use my eyes, believing what I see.
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Shelby Her theory was that everyone can heal themselves: you don’t need antibiotics, you don’t need medical attention unless your leg has fallen off. I said, “I don’t agree with you there.” I have twin boys who have a genetic condition affecting their immune system, so I did have to give her that perspective: “You might think it works for you. But it’s not a reality.”
June I believe it wasn’t right to shut down small businesses and keep open big supermarkets with hundreds of people in them. Lots of things I saw didn’t add up. I think lockdowns were disastrous for everyone. I know someone who died in hospital, my friend’s mother. She died and my friend didn’t get to see her. That’s absolutely inhumane.
Shelby She thought Covid was part of a secret agenda to get people to stay in, to stay obedient. She believes it was a bioweapon. I said, “Even if it was a bioweapon, it was still a virus, no?” But no, she doesn’t believe in the spread of diseases.
Sharing plate
June I was quite surprised that she was in favour of trans people going into schools and nurseries. I am not. I think it can go too far and it can influence children who are not ready to be influenced in that direction. So we disagreed on that, but in a friendly way.
Shelby A big thing for her is the gender-recognition legislation that’s just passed in Scotland. Basically, she thinks there’s a bigger agenda. She doesn’t think drag has a place in schools. I think she’s got it into her head that all trans people are drag performers: drag and transgender are the same to June. I tried to explain to her that trans people are normal people. I like to think I got her to take that point.
June If a trans person was a teacher, that would be really tricky. They could teach the curriculum, but it wouldn’t be OK if they were teaching children about their personal lives. It’s leading them down a path that they may not want to go. Their brains aren’t ready.
For afters
Shelby I’m very much pro-monarchy: it’s a fundamental part of being British. I love the idea of the coronation – it gives you a sense of community. June’s view was that they are parasites. They have too much money and wealth. And they’re basically all paedophiles who get away with everything. We did break that down a bit. I said, “Maybe one or two people in the family have faced allegations, but to call the whole family that is a bit unfair and a bit naive.”
June I’m strongly against them. I question why Charles would be friends with Jimmy Savile, who was given a knighthood. You can’t tell me that the security services that surround the royals don’t have full knowledge of what these people are.
Takeaways
Shelby She was so agreeable that we got to the end of the meal and she said, “I feel like we agreed on everything,” and I thought, “No, we definitely didn’t.”
June She’s lovely. I wish I was her. I just wish I’d had a fraction of her knowledge when I was her age.
Additional reporting: Kitty Drake
June and Shelby ate at Crabshakk in Glasgow
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