Kaushik never thought he would get married. That changed when he fell in love on a trip to New Zealand, but when he and his partner decided to tie the knot there was a problem.
In Fiji, his home country, same-sex marriage is illegal. Even among LGBTQ+ activists the issue is contested, with some arguing that their time is better spent combating more general discrimination and violence against the community than campaigning for marriage equality.
For Kaushik and his partner – who were able to legally marry in Auckland – the ceremony itself was important. Kaushik wanted to have a traditional celebration with his Indian family. “I wanted … my mum to experience it,” he says.
Remembering the fear he experienced growing up gay in Fiji, Kaushik and his partner decided to hold a secret Hindu wedding ceremony in the capital, Suva, for just 30 friends and family.
“We had to keep it quiet,” says Kaushik. “We had to be sure whoever we invited was open-minded.
“At that time [2016] the military was … loud about their disagreement with homosexuals and had we gotten caught we would’ve been taken to barracks.”
But not being able to marry legally in Fiji means gay people face discrimination in other areas of life.
Victoria Vollmer has been with her partner Pauline for eight years but can’t get her, or the children she has co-parented for nearly a decade, on her company health insurance.
“Since we can’t get married my family isn’t covered by the insurance. [Most] companies in Fiji only recognise marriage which makes it really hard to get.
“A lot of couples would like to get health insurance together, life insurance together, joint bank accounts. It’s an inconvenience.
“I would rather get that piece of paper [a marriage certificate] than have a commitment ceremony.”
Married couples also have other legal privileges such as the default transfer of an inheritance to their partner. In medical emergencies, family members are legally recognised as people who can make decisions about someone’s treatment but not unmarried partners.
Push for ‘safety’
Despite the challenges facing the LGBTQ+ community due to a lack of marriage equality, Abdul Shaheed, programme manager at the Rainbow Pride Foundation in Suva, says the issue is not at the top of the agenda for the organisation.
“I think the general outlook is people are not pushing for marriage equality in Fiji, they are pushing for safety and security,” he says.
For instance, if they become the victim of a crime, Shaheed says members of the LGBTQ+ community “don’t feel the police or judiciary will help them get justice”.
“These are the more pertinent issues the community wants focused on rather than jumping the gun to marriage equality.”
The foundation says addressing high rates of violence against LGBTQ+ Fijians should remain the primary focus.
Statistics on the topic are hard to come by since the government does not collect them and, Shaheed notes, “a lot of the population would choose to not report cases, due to fear of discrimination and stigma”.
But for Lady Miki Charlemagne, a trans and queer activist from Fiji, ignoring marriage equality in favour of campaigning for safety is selective activism.
“For activists that think marriage equality is not an issue, take a moment to understand it’s important for the future … as opposed to siloing things to security and protection,” she says.
Fight for acceptance
Alongside the differing views over marriage equality among LGBTQ+ advocates, there is also doubt over whether the wider community in Fiji is ready to legalise gay marriage.
“I don’t think Fiji is ready. For a change that big I think it wouldn’t go down well,” says Vollmer.
“We need people to be having these conversations … sitting down at the grog [kava] bowl and talking about it is important for people to accept us,” she says.
Former prime minister Frank Bainimarama, who lost power after 17 years in December, said gay marriage would never be legalised while he was in office, suggesting same-sex couples “go and have it done in Iceland and stay and live there”.
His replacement, Sitiveni Rabuka, has been evasive on the topic and there is little expectation that his coalition government will even debate the topic.
“I’m not holding my breath,” says Vollmer.
